for you

I'm so sorry,
I've been busy with myself lately
Been busy securing myself
Been busy enjoying my life
Been busy finding the way to be busy

I don't mean to forgetting you
Don't mean to be ignorant
Don't mean to be mean

I'm just trying to repair my mental disorder
Just trying to be a better me
But still I found myself an obsessive compulsive person

I'm just too lazy to explain this matter to somebody else
And the result is I'm not getting better
I'm worse than I used to be

I just want everything to be perfect in my way
But on the contrary, on my perfect-thought, I'm just hurting my surrounding, including you maybe..

You're not the one who forget me.
coz I'm the one who kept myself being forgotten.
I am, with total intention, running away from crowd.
Being so sarcastic and too sensitive in everything.

I am hinder myself to have a quality time with you, simply bcoz you are the only person who can read me precisely.

(This is applicable for work matters, heart matters, family matters, friendship matters which all come to me in the same time)

Again, I humbly sorry for my absence.


-for you, sent via email dated 15 July 2010-